...what I want to be when I grow up.

November 19th...sixty four working days from now...that's what's left to my career as a school Business Manager...but who's counting? :) As Shakespeare said, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." I can't believe it's been 25 years. Some days it's "I can't believe it's ONLY been 25 years." and other times it's "I can't believe it's been T W E N T Y-F I V E years...WOW! So much for Jack King's prediction that I'd only last 6 weeks."

All in all I've REALLY enjoyed it (Which most people find sick & twisted. :D), it's been challenging, educational and provided quite nicely for my family, but... I'm TIIIIRED. I'm tired of 45-60 hour work weeks...I'm tired of never feeling qualified...I'm tired of feeling like they think they're doing me a favor to "let" me work...I'm tired of constantly misunderstanding what I'm being told...but mostly, I'm tired of the drive...I'm tired of dodging deer, hogs, turkeys & cattle... I'm tired of having to get up at 4:30 in the morning...I'm tired of being tired all the time...I'm tired of not having any energy to want to do anything...I'm tired of having to choose between sleep & life.

In my perfect world, starting December 1st 2010 I will get to be a bookkeeper, I will get to work from home, do things my way, set my own hours (no more than 30 per week), and earn more than enough to pull my share of the family financial load. It could happen...don't you think? I DO believe in miracles you know.

I have given God SEVERAL extremely good suggestions for my future employment...some of them don't quite fit my ideal, but I'm pretty sure they'd be acceptable and enjoyable alternatives (banking, independent bookkeeper, MK full-time, CPA Assistant), but for some reason He doesn't seem to have chosen to accept any of these suggestions at this time. =P Who DOES He think He is anyway? The sovereign ruler of the universe or something? Oh yeah...wait...that's right...He IS.

I am DETERMINED not to mess this up! I do NOT want to have another VW decision to be ashamed of the rest of my life.THIS time I want to wait for what HE has for me instead of forcing something just to have an answer and/or try to help Him. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt...it's NOT pretty.

Thank You, God that you have a plan...for me.
Thank You that Your plan IS good.
Thank You, Lord that You are never late (...but it would be okay with me if You wanted to give me a heads-up...now...just any day now...that's fine...)

Ya'll stay tuned...you don't wanna miss this...this is gonna be GOOOOOOOD. =D

...Humility

It's such a fleeting thing...just about the time I think I might have it, I realize my pride has reared its ugly head again. Truth is, if you think you're humble, you're not. Ouch!

Strange...I admire truly humble people...Iaspire to be humble...but I just don't want to go unnoticed. I think I'm afraid of fading into the woodwork (yeah, like that could ever happen, right?).

I think it goes along with unselfishness...I really want to be unselfish...I can act unselfish...for a while...but then "all of the sudden" I'm lookin' out for #1 again. :[ I wonder if I can learn to be humble & unselfish...you know...really change? I sure hope so. I wonder how?